You've probably heard the news that The Dark Knight has risen to the second highest grossing film of all time (North America), and that the reigning champ remains Titanic after 11 years. You might be thinking, "Wow, it's pretty crazy that that movie made so much money, even eleven years ago!" Well, not really.

Titanic stayed open in the United States over nine months. Leave any movie open nine months and it's sure to break all kinds of box office records. The Dark Knight has been open 5 weeks, and has already risen to the second spot, dethroning Star Wars (which included its many re-releases in its overall box office gross). So you might be thinking, "If Dark Knight could make that much in 5 weeks, I'm sure it could beat Titanic!" Well, maybe not. It's not likely they'll leave Dark Knight open a whole eight months to slowly rake in another $200,000,000. Nobody has done that except the fuckers behind Titanic.

So what do we do now? My answer: go see The Dark Knight again. How about three more times? Now, I'm sure you're probably tired of everyone talking about this movie, quoting it, calling it the greatest thing ever made, all that shit. But it's important to show that Dark Knight can dethrone a cheater in a standard release time frame. It's legitimately become the second highest grossing movie ever, I'm sure with the participation of everyone, it can be number one. We need a new highest grossing movie.

I was toying with my "Tablet PC Input Panel" a little bit ago, and got this translation to a series of little drawings. It's good to know what Windows thinks of Britain.

Good job, Vista.

I'm happy to announced that mine and Eli Brown's tactical defense game, Besieged, is now up on Newgrounds. Go check it out, review it, collect all the awards, whatever. You can post additional questions or comments here.

Also, if you manage to achieve the final award, send me a screen-shot. I'd love to see it.

Later, bitches. I've got some work to do before I can give any details on our next project.

EDIT: Let me add that my loss of faith is not in Newgrounds itself, or the creative community, both of which are probably stronger now than they have ever been. This is mainly just the way voting works and how users work with it.

I hate to be this kid, but I have to this time. I once made a depressing and nostalgic look back at the "good times" on Newgrounds, and every day I yearn for what it was. I looked today at the top 50 best submissions of all time and wanted to cry. It's as if "OF ALL TIME" means nothing anymore, considering nothing but less than a hand's worth on the list came before 2007.

As of this writing, the top ten are as follows (from 1 to 10): More Brawl Taunts, Epsilon, Apples., Deep Sexy Space, Sonic Shorts Volume 3, The Last Stand 2, Tankmen Infinity, Waterlollies, Metal Gear Awesome 2, and TANKMEN 2. Okay, now look about three inches to the left and you'll notice that the top 5 weekly are now also the top 5 of all time. This happens every week. The All Time List is no longer reserved for the best of the best -- of cartoons that made an impression on the community -- they're just last week's winners.

I'm not calling any of these top ten submissions bad. Most of them, I have written favorable reviews for. But nobody could make the case that Sonic Shorts Volume 3, or More Brawl Taunts, or Apples. best Waterlollies, part 2: synj vs horrid, or The Story of Khale without using such trumping arguments as "it's a matter of opinion," which it may happen to be.

As it stands, though, this isn't to say that this stuff is getting undeserved praise. But rather, nothing is getting real praise. Being on the top 50 used to mean something, and holding a position for a long time was something authors were proud of. It's a signifier that you made something important to people. But now, like some funny analogy I could use to juxtapose two situations, everything is looked upon with great admiration, then moved aside for the next. Everything of decent quality is praised, placed on a weekly list, and then placed at the top of the all time list, then waits until next week when the next five or six submissions push last week's submissions five or six spots down, filtering out the old cartoons with the new. Eventually they'll slip off the end of the list, regardless of whether they were important or not.

So, now I have to give some kind of cathartic idea; an answer to a supposed issue. But, what's actually happening? Is it overzealous voters who merely vote 5 or 0? Is it a growing strength in submissions on this website, and not a problem at all? Is it a shift in the community's focus of what makes a "great" submission? Am I just a bitch? Maybe.

I don't know what the cause is of this. All I know is that it's much harder to feel proud of a good score anymore.

Thoughts?

While it's been quite a while since I've made any cartoons here on Newgrounds, I've been hard at work for the past couple months working with my friend, Eli Brown, to make both of our first game: BESIEGED!! I'm mostly just supplying artwork and shit, and he's being some kind of coding savant. Since I haven't mentioned anything about this game before, I figured I'd cover the major details about this game.

What is this garbage?
Besieged is basically a tower defense game, but leaving it at that would undermine a good deal of its aspects. Aside from freely placing various types of towers on the field to take out oncoming foes, there are also structures that are used for several thing, including gathering gold and enhancing your existing towers. You can also level up your towers and your castle so you can rape angry dots like a pimp.

Why would I want to play yet another tower defense game?
Shut up, fag, and I'll tell you. Because it's going to rule. Where other tower defense games are just copied code of every other one you've played, this one is built from the ground up and adds some sweet RTS and RPG elements into the mix. On top of that, there's a sweet Awards system (they smell like achievements, but taste better) that acknowledges your efforts and rewards you in some pretty neat ways.

When does this sweet game I'm already convinced will sweep up dozens of awards come out?
Quit being so pushy, I just announced it. We'll probably be done and ready to evacuate it from our birth canals sometime in July.

A good portion of the artwork is done, the engine is pretty much done, but in a constant state of making-more-awesome, levels are currently being designed and balanced and all that fun stuff.

If you have anything interesting to ask, say, or suggest, we would love to hear what you have to say. I'm willing to explore some sweet suggestions, as long as they pertain to something about this game and / or its mechanics and not Ingus 9 or me fucking myself.

Here is a shrunk down in-progress shot of the game's simplistic second level.

This is a reminder to all you douche-bags out there who haven't finished their Metal Gear Collaboration Submissions: YOU HAVE TEN DAYS!

I know you guys might be tired of all this updating after Jeff's written about this twice and Stamper just tossed out a rant as well, but it's apparent that three wasn't enough, because you guys still aren't submitting anything. I know I won't make an impact, especially if they can't, but I've got my dick out already, so I might as well toss it into the wind as well...

Newgrounds is a cesspool of video game parodies. There's literally hundreds, if not thousands of video game parodies on this site. Some of them are very good. Metal Gear has had the honor of having 75 recognized parodies here on Newgrounds, most of which are hilarious. Newgrounds is now calling on fans of the franchise, of parodies, and of the site to contribute to making one grand tribute to the stellar stealth action franchise. Among the 75 recognized tributes already on Newgrounds, there are at least 60 unique authors who are familiar with the franchise. If just half of those animators were to contribute a 15 second skit for this thing, we'd have almost 8 minutes of content alone. Throw in fans and animators who have never done a Metal Gear parody and we should be looking at several more minutes. Theoretically, this could be the biggest site-wide collaboration to date.

... But it's apparent that this isn't happening. Why not? Has the well been tapped dry? I think not. Among those recognized parodies, only a handful cover Snake Eater, and not a single one of them covers Portable Ops, both of which stuff themselves with content worthy of a good joke. And what about SNAKE'S REVENGE? A Metal Gear game so terribly bad and ridiculous that Kojima officially denounced it. Anyone who has stumbled across this game has likely laughed the entire way through. And can we forget the AC!D series? Stealth action via cards? What? Or an ultra vibrant pulp look the second installment adopted? There's so much there and so little being done.

Watching the MGS4 trailers alone should inspire many to make any number of silly cartoons. Chicken-legged cow-sounding upright tanks? Homoerotic fight scenes? Screaming bitches in ridiculous suits? Dick-grabbing? Drunk diapered monkeys? Snake's extreme ass-cleavage? This is the Holy Grail of parodies and the game isn't even out!

So, everyone, please participate. 5-30 seconds is not much to ask. This game franchise has more potential than any other to make for a fantastic collaboration here on Newgrounds. If this fails, I can't imagine what else wouldn't (except for Sonic and Mario, which are both incredibly retarded and whose parodies have never and will never be funny).

Come on, you have ten days. Be a part of something awesome.

Also, I am aware that tossing your dick into the wind is not a real phrase. I don't care.

Happy birthday, me.

She's just so entertaining. It's like she doesn't understand how record-keeping, fact-checking, and video-cameras work.

.
/* */
I just wanted to try out the new embedded video thing. I figured this was a good way to kick it off.

Unfortunately my last post was to say goodbye to another hero of mine. But this one hurts a bit more. Ollie Johnston died at the age of 95 on April 14th.

Ollie Johnston was a champ. But not just any champ. In fact, he was one of only nine champs. One of the guys that brought the world of animation to life. One of the guys that this site couldn't exist without the contributions of. Ollie and the rest of the Nine Old Men were responsible for the Golden Age of Animation, which gave birth to techniques used across the planet. The skills he developed have become a cornerstone of animation education.

Ollie's death marks an end to an era. He will be missed, but his impact is unquestionable and everlasting.

Hey, you know Moses, when he fought a bunch of apes and then uncovered a dark secret about green crackers in the future? Yeah, he's dead.

They'll be prying the gun from his cold, dead fingers now.