Newgrounds knows how to treat its fans. I ordered my peni-corn on the day they were announced, and I received mine today. This thing is pretty awesome. It even has a nice little cum bead on the tip of his dick. The package was also topped off with a bunch of stickers exclusive to all those events nobody gets the chance to go to, and one signed by Tom Fulp, which is cool.
Overall, pretty badass. I hope to see the other peni-pals in the future.

For starters, I'd like to thank the NG guys for front-paging my new cartoon, An Ingus PSA: Shoplifting. If you haven't watched it yet, and refuse to watch any of the better cartoons on the front page for two minutes, I suggest you check it out.

Second of all, I'd like to share with any of my PS3-owning fans -- or anyone else who wants to have unrecognizable files -- this nifty little Ingus Theme I made. It says version 1.0 there, but it's actually 2.0 if you check the info on it. While you're there, also please check out the LittleBigPlanet Theme that my friend Eli Brown made (who also did the credits music for PSA2). To use these themes, make a folder on whatever storage device you're using (flash drive, SD card, whatever) titled "PS3" and then inside that folder make another folder titled "THEME," and then put the themes in there. You should then be able to install them onto your PS3 under the Theme Settings menu. Also, if any of you have made your own themes, I'd love to see them. That site is a great place to upload your themes to and get inspiration from.

Thirdly, if you're a Spokanite who wants to challenge yourself by making a cartoon or short film in 48 hours this weekend, look into the First Night Spokane's 48-Hour Film Festival. Everybody's good friend, Jeremy Lokken, has participated for the past two years with Twist of Fate and Mr. Saves The Day and will do so again this year. I will continue my streak of not doing it yet again, this time because of more than just forgetfulness or laziness. Anyway, I encourage everybody here in the Spokane area to try and participate in this. Lokken has been the only animator submitting stuff, so I think it will impress people to see how well some of us can do in such little time, but it is film first and animation second, so if you want to just do a regular old Handi-Cam movie, that works too. If you're interested, it's this Friday to sign up and start. All the details you need to know are on the link posted above. For all you who aren't quite sure what a "Spokane" is, don't worry about this paragraph.

And finally, I'm just giving the heads up that I am kind of working on Ingus: Episode 9 again. I still just have the storyboards of the first chunk finished, but they're pretty good storyboards. It's roughly the first third of the movie, and it's probably just under 2 minutes long, which means the whole thing might end up being around 6 minutes. I'm thinking it will run a little longer, but we'll keep our expectations low for the best results. Below is a screen-shot of an Ingus storyboard. Feel free to post any questions or comments below pertaining to anything I did or did not say here.

2005 was probably the best year Newgrounds has ever had. Just two years ago, the portal was granted some awesome animated shorts in quick succession and some great series were born as others sang their swan songs. That was two years ago. Now, in 2007, the average scores are higher than they were then, and the staying power for the best of all time is significantly more brief than it once was. But are the cartoons getting that much better? Or have the standards of Newgrounds slipped?
For as long as I can remember, 4.25 was one of the highest scores any cartoon could ever have as a staying score. The #1 of all time usually had that score, followed by around fifteen 4.24-scores. Now, it seems like every week births a new video that reaches and stays in the 4.30+ range for at least a week. The problem is that these cartoons are worse than those its score trumps from the 4.25s of two years ago. That's not even considering the time gap. Side-by-side, some of these older cartoons excelled in every aspect and yet at the time of their release, these new ones hold a much higher score. These movies aren't getting better, the expectations are just lower.
Cartoons I released in 2005 to 4.02+/- scores now have scores in the 4.10+/- range. Nothing changed in the cartoon, but the scores just went up. They apparently get better with time. That, or people just give fives and zeros now, without considering any of the in-between.
As of right now, the top 20 all time best flash submissions are at most .03 shy of 4.30 or above. Of those 20, a whole TWO were released before 2007 (TANKMEN and The YuYu, both 2006). For an all-time chart, it hardly seems fair. People rarely revisit those other cartoons and rate them as they do everything they do now.
I can figure two reasons for this odd phenomenon of extra high scores today. A: People believe everything acceptable means a 5, or B: The ones hitting the buttons are easily entertained and everything is the best thing they've ever seen. Those actually flow along the same lines, so I won't rule out either.
I just really wish everybody would vote consistently. Consider its score versus the score other great flash had. The AWESOME cartoons are funny, but is it really .15 better than Prowlies or Fallen Angel?
It's not that movies are getting better, it's that the absence of those megaton movies and games gets filled with technically passable creations. Be as critical as you were, and force your artists to make those legendary bombshells again. Let everyone remember what deserves these 4.30 scores.

Remember the things worth living for...

Five months ago, I bought this ASUS tablet PC for around $1,700. Present day, this computer has raised my blood pressure too much to recommend it to anyone.

Let me start off by saying Tablet PCs are super cool. Drawing on the screen is very helpful and easy for retards like me who still struggle through looking away from where I'm drawing, plus it's on the go. That being said, they're expensive and risky. You're paying a lot for the screen, so the computer itself is always worse than one without the screen tech.

Anyway, I don't want to essay this out, so I'll just list issues I've had so far with this ASUS piece of crap.
- It gets unusually hot to the point of being painful to the tough
- The pen holding slot scrapes up the pen if you slightly turn it while taking it out.
- While using the pen, it isn't uncommon to have the cursor fly to a corner and click rapidly. This usually fixes when you use the eraser-tip over the cursor. A few days ago, however, it went to the furthest pixel in the top left and persisted after 3 restarts over 2 hours' time.
- When in vertical screen mode, then pen cursor pops up in the opposite location on-screen as where it is physically in Flash and Photoshop, making it virtually impossible to use either in that mode.
- Today, it turned itself off for no reason, forcing me to remove the impossible-to-remove battery for an extended period of time. Now the time resets upon start-up.
- Last night the button latch which snaps the screen down in the closed position broke (likely a spring popped out on the inside). And this is to someone's who is incredibly careful with his stuff.
- Terrible customer support. I sent a support request three days ago with the guarantee of within 24 hours for a response. At least they waited so that I know have two more issues to share with them.

The moral, kids? If you're going to buy a laptop, make sure it's one that you can easily remove the hard drive from in case of gay issues like these, and don't buy things that you can't buy a better version of separately. And don't buy ASUS.

I'd rather have had a $1700 laptop without the tablet screen (and in turn have a much more powerful laptop) and buy a $3000 WACOM screen tablet than this.

A couple of days ago, I mentioned PSA2 being back on track, and while I am a liar, I have worked on it some more. I have proof below. It's hard to work when it's so boring to. I had some problems on my PC with Flash CS3, so I'm working solely through my laptop, also so that I don't have to jump back and forth between the two and transfer back and forth (drawing on a screen kicks tablets in the butt). It's pretty agitating to copy and paste frame with a finger pad, and my bluetooth mouse won't disconnect from my PS3. So I have to do most of my "animating" through arguably too much index finger scooting and thumb clicking. It is not fun.

Regardless of my issues with this system, I've finished playing Ratchet and Clank Future and kind of ran out of other shit to do. Once I'm done with this very short pile of garbage, I plan to jump right into Ingus 9 and 10, but they'll take (too much) time. On top of that, I went back to the drawing board with some stuff in my EPIC STORY with a friend of mine, to make the story very streamlined and still be effective, as well as cliche-free (he spotted some I didn't really notice). I want to get something on this out before the end of 2008 (yes, it's that far off). The likelihood of this project ever even getting officially scripted is slim at this point, because it's such a mammoth undertaking, but I'm still really pumped to see it happen.

Anyway, here's a screenshot from within a scene. The background art isn't there so that it's easier for me to focus on that stuff. This reveals nothing and looks even less done than the almost identical picture I already posted, but if you're a hound, you might find something about this interesting.

This is a little note to anyone interested in the happenings of Ingus stuff. An Ingus PSA 2 is storyboarded and recorded. I've laid in nearly all the sounds that will be in the final. With the exception of one or two scenes, the animation should go fairly quickly. That being said, one of the two scenes might not. Hopefully I'll get it down and it will work. Whatever the case may be, I'll have it done before the end of November.

In the Ingus episodic world, a friend of mine made an intro and outro for the series that I plan to use starting with episode 9. It has added more work onto the already heavy episode, so it's going to take more time, but that's okay. Expect to see that eventually.

I feel as though I'm linked to Michael Swain and his emoticon-like creation: Blockhead. The link, I feel, is my retarded son: Ingus. Both created within a month of one another (Ingus in August of 2005, Blockhead the following September), both starring lovably stupid characters. We even seem to share a fan-base (though mine is not as big, understandably). There are some things that are different, like the styles of humor or tone. The biggest difference, however, is clear: Ingus sucks. In roughly the same amount of time (just over two years) Ingus has come to have 11 cartoons in the world, while Blockhead has had 14, 3 of which combined to make a movie, as well as its own flash game, not to mention countless cameos, and the honor of being depicted all over Newgrounds.

On top of that, Blockhead is tougher to make. What Swain does is no easy task. This isn't a TOOF-job he's pulling. He clearly puts time into his work, and makes longer cartoons than I do. It's impressive to see how far he's taken his little guy. Now, got watch Ingus 1 and Ingus 8 back-to-back... I congratulate you, Swain.

The key strength Michael Swain has is his persistence, which I am depressed to have reflect so negatively against myself. He persists and makes epics like Time Squad, his drawing ability improves exponentially, he excels like a champ. Let's compare that to me. I wrote Ingus 9 and 10 roughly a year ago and they're still not even in production. I actually wrote an Ingus movie, seriously. 35 pages of alien apocalypse and non sequitur gags. It could have been epic. But alas, I lack the drive guys like Swain have.

Looking at things like this, it makes me realize that being successful has nothing to do with a specific talent. There are millions of artists and only a handful have a great idea, and even less have the ambition to see it happen. Swain wasn't the best animator or the best artist when he started his series, but his drive overpowered those factors, and in doing so, he became great at both. Having a drive like that is more important than being able to draw, always.

But just remember, kids, you don't need that drive to make a moderately popular series on Newgrounds. Just look at me!

Anyway, WAY TO GO, Swain! You've unveiled my suckage by comparison. THANKS, BUDDY!

Also, everyone look out for his new Ghostmas special '07 and don't forget to put up your Ghostmas signs this year.

I sent off all my application stuff, so the scariness of those deadlines is gone (for now)! This means I can work on some cartoons without feeling like a bad person... well, not as bad anyway. I wrote I little run-down in my previous post of my projects, but I'll do a better one here that lists some more specifics.

INGUS: EPISODE 9
Script: Basically finished. There's always corrections and changes to be had, but it's basically done.
Recording: The first run at the prologue has been recorded. Nothing else yet, however.
Art/Animation: The storyboarding is gorgeous... for the prologue. The rest I haven't touched.
Note: This is my favorite Ingus script, and I want to get it right.

INGUS: EPISODE 10
Script: It's "done" in the sense that it currently has a beginning and an end, but that was also like 4 months ago, so some stuff may not be funny anymore. It's going to get revised in some aspects.
Recording: As far as I know, 0%. I asked a guest to record a character which they agreed to, but they haven't sent me anything back yet. They probably won't end up doing it, which would be sad, but whatever.
Art/Animation: Again, nothing.
Note: I have no idea when this will come out. I want it to be good.

AN INGUS PSA 2 (placeholder title)
Script: It's finished.
Recording: Finished, basically. There's one sound loop I have to record.
Art/Animation: The bulk of the new art is done. Most of what is left to add is old character models. The animation is ready to begin. A screen shot of this PSA's troubled child is shown below.
Note: this will be done soon, hopefully.

FLOWERS (working title)
Script: It's been done for like a year.
Recording: None.
Art/Animation: I've restarted the art like three times.
Note: This is a pretty short cartoon, but I've just never gotten around to it. It's not super funny, so it won't benefit me at all on NG and will just get ignored, so I haven't bothered with it.

UNTITLED FANTASY EPIC
Script: The layout of the story is done. The script is going to need to be perfect if I ever start this thing.
Recording: None.
Art/Animation: I've worked on some concept art to help with the characters' prerogative, but nothing directly for the animating of the cartoon series itself.
Note: This is a long way off, if it is ever to be made. It's a multi-part series I have wanted to do for a long time. I was inspired by XOMBIE and was inspired to show-up JAZZA's PALADIN. I've long been a critic of that series and though I think he has talent and impressive ambition, I wanted to show people what he could have done and how I feel he could have spent his effort. Unlike JAZZA, however, I lack the motivation to make anything like that. I hope to eventually do it, but not for a while. It does not share story elements, characters, or the plot. It's just a fantasy epic, though with NO MAGIC. AGH!

CAREER DAY
Script: Finished
Recording: Finished
Art/Animation: Some art done, no animation.
Note: This was a 24-Hour Flash I abandoned. I will probably finish it eventually, though it shares a point I wanted to make with Flowers (A KupaMan cartoon with a message?! OH NO!), so it is kind of a redundant cartoon, or would make the other one.

So, there's my list of animations I hope to eventually finish. If you haven't figured it out by now, I over-burden myself with these projects and they all suffer. I feel the need to do the Ingus stuff, but I desire to do the others, and I end up wasting time thinking about which to work on rather than working on any of them. You can expect An Ingus PSA 2 by the end of November at the latest.

PS: If anyone is interested in the epic I will give some more details and may even get back on that. I might release a teaser trailer just to gauge interest. Also, if people are waiting, it's easier to stay on target (well, obviously not with Ingus HAHAHAHAHA!!!).

Anyway, I'd like some feedback. In what order do you guys think I should do this list? Keep in mind that other than Ingus 9, 10, and the epic, all of this is going to be of the standard short cartoon fare. Ingus 9 will be the longest of the Ingus series, and 10 will be a little shorter, but a good episode cap. The epic could be something like 25 minutes. There's enough to expand on to make it longer, but I'm already looking at an un-finishable project as it is.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Porn?

As anyone who once cared may know, I was working on Ingus shit like a year ago. The last full episode was posted over a year ago. Since then I've made made the Christmas Special (a half-assed effort for what could have been more) and a PSA (pretty good, but took longer than it needed to). Immediately after that PSA, I wrote another one and planned to make it in under a week. Then I got lazy, again. Then I made The Parfait. Now, it's October 13th, I'm in the early stages of the second PSA, and have virtually no showable work done on Ingus 9 or 10. I have failed at life. I've spent way too much time on other things like worrying about college and playing video games.

So here's a run-down that I hope someone will keep me to:

- INGUS PSA 2: I hope to get it done by the end of this month, possibly the first week of November (assuming my portfolio travels well). It will be short (quite short) but should make you laugh for several seconds.
- INGUS 9: By the end of November, I will have recorded all of the dialogue and will be able to show at least a screen or two from the actual production.
- INGUS 10: By the end of November, it also should be almost fully recorded. One character may be a guest, so I may have to wait for them, but Ingus, Bear, Ninja, and whoever else may or may not appear voiced by Seth Forsman will be recorded by then. That cartoon will probably not be out for eleven years, but whatever.

You may be wondering, "Hey, faggot, why does it take you forever to do anything? And why so many months just to record some shit? I hope you die." The answer to that is that I need to record when Seth Forsman is available to record and I am available to record him. Also, I make a lot of changes to scripts as I work on them, and this one I want to get right. I've done too much half-assing to ruin one of my favorite scripts.

You may also be wondering, "You're a dick." And the reason I'm recording both 9 and 10 at around the same time is simple; I may or may not be going to another state for school, and Seth Forsman may or may not be moving across the country to avoid officials due to infringements of newly erected bestiality laws.

I'm still trying my best not to drop the ball on 9 and 10. I had high hopes for Episode 7, but then I rushed it. I've clearly not rushed this one, but you could say not working on it at all is worse than rushing through scenes.

Anyway, I'll try to keep you posted.